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all mighty boosh crimps

As I felt there was a need for it, I've compiled a complete list of all the crimps from all three series of The Mighty Boosh.

If you don't know what a crimp is, go look at a hedge and, optionally, The Mighty Boosh.


Series 1, ep 1: Captain Cabinets
Captain Cabinets
Trapped in cabinets
Can he get out? Will he get out?
Course he will
Captain cabinets



Series 1, episode 4: Stickleback
Stickleback, stickleback
Stickleback bourgeois
Crusty in the bingohall
Running like a chinahorse
Mmm ptah massala, mmm ptah massala
Kentish Town, Kentish Town yeah
Kentish Town, Kentish Town no



Series 1, ep 5: Calm a llama down
Calm a llama down
Calm a llama deep down in the ocean
Blue like a barnacle
Sitting in the tight place
laughing like a monkey arm
Pulling like a chinaboy
Cut away, cut away, cut away, noise
Boing chicka massala
Boing chicka massala
Oooh, tooth, tooth, phhhht



Series 2, episode 4: Soup
Soup, supertasty soup, superspicy
Carrot and coriander
Chili chowder
Crouton, crouton
Crunchy friends in a liquid broth
I am gazpacho, ooh
I am a summer soup, ooh
Miso, miso, fighting in the dojo
Miso, miso
Oriental prince in the land of soup



Series 3, episode 2: Pancakes
Eggs milk and flour, pancake power
Look at his milky yellow sunshine face
Flip it now, flip it good, ooh
Flip it now, flip it good, ooh
Some are salt, some are sweet
Some are fruit, some are meat
The time we used the chive
it really came alive
Edible frisbee springtime Tuesday
I like to boogie



Series 3, episode 3: Twisty
Ooh, ooh, ooh, I did a twisty
Ooh, ooh, ooh, a tiny twisty
Twist him up, twist him down
Twist him all around
Dancing like the cobra
Dancing to the music of the pipe
The pipe, the pipe of life
Ayeehayeehayeehay
Carama, sharama, cinema in the night
Such a good thing
Don't forget to bring popcorn
Tony and his paper castle



Series 3, episode 3: Jigsaw times
Puzzle piece, puzzle pie
Find the piece of missing sky
Put it in the wrong place
Jam it in the bear's face
Canadian landscape
With the sky-faced bear
Rrrrrrr, the jigsaw times



Series 3, episode 3: Crimp-off
Alan, Alan, Alan
Alan Rachnid the spider provider
Don't get caught in his web

Lamb Dhansak, Lamb Dhansak
In his rice anorak

Cook, cook, cooking in the kitchen
bitchin' 'bout bacon
Someone took the last slice
That's not nice

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr phhhhht

Oh spooky, spooky, spooky monkey
Sitting in my flat, he's a primate junkie

Sweeping up, sweeping down
Sweeping all around town
Here come mister Broom boom, oohoo
Here come mister Broom boom, oohoo

Pork pie shiny-eye the champagne paedo

Chapati, Chapati, Chapati basmati
Chapati, Chapati, Chapati basmati
Chapati, Chapati, Chapati basmati
Chapati, Chapati, Chapati basmati

The freaking mole, the vole, the hamster
And that completes the top one hundred
Most dangerous animals
In Wales



Series 3, episode 3: Four-way crimp
Aaaaaaiiieee
Crimpety, crimpety, now now
Crimpety, crimpety, ask me how
Crimpety, crimpety, humble pie
Crimpety, crimpety boing, ding
Bong bong ting
Crimpety crimpety ping pong

Sugar man light source
Why did you come to me
Put me in a coma, woke up in the future
Robot man, can't you help me find my way
I can't understand the things you say

Tube mouse, I love you so
I took you from the underground
And brought you home
I put you in my jacket pocket
Took you to the meeting
Put you in my jacket pocket
Took you to the meeting
Put you in my jacket pocket
Put you in my jacket pocket
Put you in my jacket, put you in my jacket

Jean-Claude Jaquettie with his jacket on
Jean-Claude Jaquettie with his jacket off
Jacket on, jacket off, jacket on, jacket off
Ooh, ooh, ooh, I did a twisty
Ooh, ooh, ooh, a tiny twisty

Crimpety, crimpety, now now
Crimpety, crimpety, ask me how
Crimpety, crimpety, you will pay
Crimpety, crimpety out my way
Boing, ding, bong bong ting
Crimpety, crimpety, fuck you


Series 3, episode 5: Bouncy castle
Bouncy bouncy, ooh, such a good time
Bouncy bouncy, shoes all in a line
Bouncy bouncy, everybody summersault
Summersault, summertime
Everybody sing along
Bouncy bouncy, ooh, such a good time
Bouncy bouncy, white socks slipping down
Bouncy bouncy, stillettos are a no-no
Bouncy bouncy, ooh, bouncy bouncy, ooh
Every time I bounce I feel I touch the sky